i have been trying not to whinge about christmas and trying to find my own peace with it, but really, im over it. on two fronts - family, and consumerism.
i dont have a close family. this year i have an in-law family to deal with, which includes a lot of kids. we entertained some of them here yesterday and are doing so again tonight. most of the time they are good fun, but i do find it hard work. i find being pleasant for hours at a time around most people really hard work. im tired already.
then we have a drive to queensland to see my dad to whom i am not close really but it seems like the right thing to do. for whom, i wonder? for what purpose? out of misplaced guilt for time lost that will never come back? in a pathetic attempt to recreate some sense of family where there is none, and hasnt been for many decades?
so the whole family thing rings really hollow with me, and attempts to redefine it just seem silly this year, for some reason. it just doesnt sit well.
and the consumerism. good lord. did someone mention there was an economic meltdown, or do we just continue merrily like lemmings until we have really fallen over the edge of the cliff and there is no one else to blame? i saw a bit of ellen today. she is doing this christmas giveaway where she gives stuff to her audience. clothes and diamonds and electronics. does she stop to think about the children who slaved to dig up those diamons, to sew those clothes? her audience sure dont, they jump and scream and some of them cry like something important just happened. its disgusting. ellen, where is my world peace? my end to hunger and poverty and oppression? oh what, it costs too much? silly me.
so you know, im over it. call me scrooge, whatever.
k xx
8 comments:
A friend of mine made me a badge one Christmas, when everyone else on Committee was dressing up for the end of year party. It had a sheep, some mmmmmmmmms and a beetle. She knew me quite well.
Yours grumpily,
Scrooge2
btw I'm putting off visits to family until later in January when there is less expectation of Joy Unbounded.
(sorry about the delete - really just wanted to pretend I wasn't the worst typist on the planet)
Oh thank you for this post. It reminds me I am not alone. Even my beloved sister grumbled at me for grumbling today, like I should just suck it up. Grrrr.
I do need to say though that I smiled when I wrapped something for you today. Those little moments are the ones I'm clinging to with all my strength because God only knows the rest of this whole fiasco is bringing me down so very much.
I am seeing my parents on boxing day and your words about seeing your dad really rang true.
At lunch the other day, everyone said Christmas meant Family. And that's fine for them, but I am a bit of a Bah Humbug. I enjoy others' Spirit of Christmas but I'd quite like to be alone. I did have Christmas at home one year, but now people kindly check up with each other to make sure I am 'celebrating' on the day. I think there's Plato's Ideal Family, and then there's real life!!
I hope you find something in the whole shemozzle that makes you happy.
Does this mean I am Scrooge too???
You know what might be nice, if Ellen had given some goats to a few starving villagers, rather than diamonds to a few spoilt housewifes. That might have generated more christmas cheer than jeer...
I'm not going to call you Scrooge. I don't think I've enjoyed Christmas for a long time, even though I've really wanted to. So this year I am enjoying the little things that make up Christmas and summer, and ignoring the bad things - pretending they don't exist. I've tried to stay away from the malls and have bought handmade and local and charity gifts. I'm trying really hard not to get the rage. On Saturday I chucked a huge tantrum at Myer (Mr QM stupidly wanted to buy a shirt) so he took me home via Tilley's for beer, just like a 3 yo gets taken home (except for the beer)).
Call me Pollyanna, but looking for the little joys of the season is how I'm coping this year.
Perhaps it's helped by not having to travel anywhere. I don't know. But I'd rather try to enjoy this for what it is becoming, than slump into a huge depression over Christmas, like I do every other year.
That's not to negate your bad feelings about it though. You are perfectly entitled to them.
xxx
You know you aren't on your own. Really. It's the media machine that makes us all think it's happy happy joy joy.
My parents have been divorced for over 23 years. Christmas for me is a time where I am spread thin on visits to relatives I really would rather not see (and only see at Christmas) to visits from relatives I really don't like. Yes - for me the kids make it lovely and special - and for that I am lucky. But otherwise - it's really all a big pile of poop.
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